Introducing the Church of England

Getting Married in Church

The Church of England
COMMUNICATIONS UNIT

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people get married in England. More than half tie the knot during a religious ceremony which, for 200,000, about a third of the total, involves the Church of England. It is the most important day in their lives.

Whether you are a regular churchgoer or not, getting married in church allows you to make solemn promises to the one you love, not only in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of God and with God's blessing.

Marriage, the Bible tells us, is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God's purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they are united in that love, just as Christ is united in love with his Church.

To use the words of the Alternative Service Book: marriage is given that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given that, with delight and tenderness, they may know each other in love and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given that they may have children and be blessed in caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God's will, to his praise and glory.

This is, of course, the ideal and no true lovers hope for anything less. The church holds firmly to Christ's teaching that marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Arranging a church wedding

Having decided you want a church wedding, the first thing to do is to talk to your vicar or parish priest. As the established church, the Church of England gives everyone, with no former partner still living, the right to get married in their or their partner's parish church. Many vicars set aside an evening each week for people to ask about weddings and baptisms. This will be published on the notice board or in the parish magazine; otherwise, speak to the priest direct or phone to make an appointment.

In marriage, says the service, husband and wife belong to one another and they begin a new way of life together in the community. It is a way of life that all should honour; and it must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly or selfishly; but reverently, responsibly and after serious thought.

Couples are expected to prepare carefully for their new life together. The priest will want to meet you in person to talk about marriage and may even invite you to join a marriage preparation course, often with other couples.

There are also decisions to be made: whether to use the traditional words of the Book of Common Prayer or the Series 1 service or the more current language of the Alternative Service Book; what hymns and readings you might like; whether you want the service to include your first communion as husband and wife; to ring the bells, decorate the church or have the choir sing; and what date you want to set.

Legal aspects

Your forthcoming marriage has to be announced or licensed before the service can take place. The announcement is called the banns and must be read out in your parish church or churches on three Sundays before the wedding. If the wedding is in another church because one of you is on the electoral roll of that parish, the banns must be read there, too. There is a small fee for publishing the banns and for the certificate, completed by the priest, that they have been read.

There may be some reason why your banns cannot be read. An alternative is a common licence issued by the bishop of the diocese or his surrogate; one of the local clergy. This will allow you to be married in a parish where either of you has lived for at least 15 days before the licence is issued.

If you have a special reason for wanting to be married in a church where neither of you lives, it is possible to apply for a special licence from the Archbishop of Canterbury. Nobody has a right to one of these licences, so you must have a good reason; not just that the church would look nice in the photos. Write to the Registrar of the Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, London SW1.

To be married by common or special licence, at least one of you must have been baptised. You also have to pay a fee for the licence.

The service

With all that out of the way, there are just two more tasks to enjoy before you can start your married life: a rehearsal with the priest and the service itself.

Most people are familiar with the marriage service. The couple traditionally arrive separately, the bridegroom first with his best man; and the bride, at the appointed time, led down the aisle on the arm of her father or a close relative. The groom's family and friends sit on the right and the bride's on the left. Bride and groom meet at the chancel step.

The priest prays for the couple and declares the purposes of marriage before asking, as the law requires, if anyone knows any reason why the marriage should not take place.

Next come the questions. Will you love, comfort, honour and protect...and, forsaking all others, be faithful as long as you both shall live? Each is asked and each answers I will. Turning to each other, bride and groom then make the ageold vows, little changed for more than 800 years...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, according to God's holy law.

By giving and receiving the wedding ring or by exchanging rings the couple complete their promises. The priest proclaims them husband and wife and pronounces God's blessing on them. After the register has been signed, the congregation prays for the couple, asking God's help for them as they begin their new life together. Sometimes, the register is signed right at the end.

The rest

Having planned the service, now you can think about the rest of it the dress, reception, photographs or whatever else you want to complete your special day. The Church's involvement ends when you leave the church but it will still be there for you the rest of your lives.

Whatever else may happen, remember, this is your day -- enjoy it.

Paying for your service

The costs of a church wedding are not high. The service itself -- access to the church and the priest costs less than most wedding dresses. This is a fee set nationally each year by the Church of England. Part of it goes to the parish church for the use of the building, the rest replaces part of the priest's stipend or salary.

The parochial church council, which runs the parish church, is free to set its own fees for ringing the bells, having the organist play, the choir, the heating and other things it pays for in its regular services. What you pay depends on what you want.

Divorcees

The marriage service makes it clear that marriage is for life; 'till death us do part'. Sadly, some couples find it difficult to maintain their relationship for better or worse and marriages do break down. The church still has a loving concern for those who have tried and failed and honestly want to try again.

Debates on the rights and wrongs of divorced people, whose former partners are still living, taking the vows and marrying again in church are still going on. In the meanwhile, those who get remarried in a register office (which the Church of England recognises as true marriages) may have a service of prayer and dedication in their parish church.

Some parish priests, using their secular position as a registrar, do on occasion marry divorcees in their churches. This is the priest's decision and is not a right of the couple.

This is one of a range of leaflets available explaining the working and beliefs of the Church of England

Edited by Steve Jenkins
Published by the Communications Unit
General Synod of the Church of England
Church House, Gt Smith Street, London SW1P 3NZ